solace within

Wednesday, December 13, 2006
How to be an Ah-Lian 101:

1. Have limited vocabulary
2. Always say DAMN YOU
3. If people get irritated, abreviate it to dy.
4. When in doubt, say huh with either a blank face or with your mouth open
5. ROAR really loudly when irritated "RAHHHHH!!!"
6. Or say damn you again when irritated(:
7. Don't forget to um4 chiou3!
8. Have a fringe
9. Comb your hair backwards and never ever flatten it. Let it pong4 up.
10. Always go to the toilet to comb your hair even if it isn't messy
11. Always ask if there's anything on your mouth after eating even if you know there isn't
12. Go ga-ga over clothes and go on changing sprees with your poor friend you go out with
13. Take a dreadfully long time in the changing room until your friend can't stand it and decides to go out without you
14. Speak and text using bimbotic language, yet deny using it.
15. Wear invisible/ankle socks
16. Make your skirt short; halfway on your knee
17. Don't sit cross-legged, sit the guy crossing way
18. And pull up your skirt while doing so
19. STOMP YOUR FEET and say DAMN YOU when you get pissed
20. Have trademark actions such as an act-cute method of saying "okay!" (:
21. Always carry a black tote bag with a gay picture on it
22. Tell random stories and talk random stuff
23. Eat and drink in places where eating and drinking aren't allowed eg: trains and buses
24. Adopt a retro christian name eg: sally, mimi, momo...
25. Add "Ah-Lian" as your middle name.
26. Who says Chinese can't have middle names? Have sth like Sally Mog Ah-Lian Jun Wen. Unleash your creativity! Your parents will be proud of you!^^
27. Having that english name isn't enough. Translate the whole thing! Adopting the earlier eg, it'll become san1 li2 mo1 ahlian jun1 wen2.
28. When eating, talk with your mouth full/ with 2 french fries sticking out of your mouth like a freak.
29. Always fight to be the center of attraction, no matter how much the poor people around you complain.
30. Wipe your face with tissue frequently even if it isn't dirty or sweaty.

Well people, the list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on... but I'm sure you get the idea how to be an ah-lian. Oh yes, any similarities of this blog post to real-life experiences are purely coincidental.

I mumbled to myself not to mumble ever again- 5:12 AM

0 Comments: