oh god. how am I ever going to achieve my aims like this?! oh god oh god oh god.
and the bloody chi tchr keeps picking on me. this sucks. rah. and there are like 3-4 tests next week? and there's the discovery centre trip thingy on tues? zzz. The sch thinks that we're deprived kids who haven't seen a talking robot? (Actually, no matter what I ask it, it gives the same reply; I don't quite get you. So did I outsmart it?)
But then again, certain things have been happening, like people saying stuff that motivate me NOT to change who I really am, although I admit to trying extremely hard to for the entire duration of my terribly miserable life. Even though I got to a certain point of a comfort zone, (oh my that period was wonderful, but exhausting) it seemed rather confusing and I felt like I had lost my self-identity. The answer was simple afterall; multiple personalities, way of talking, use of vocab and lingo,... you name it, I did it.
I mean, it was just so difficult to fit in anywhere, let alone find anyone to have an intellectual conversation and more with me. It stays so even in my current situation (which hasn't changed much) so yes, I'm still a miserable person who makes it to be an open secret.
Say, if you had a 50/50 chance of a gamble to change your situation, would you?
I would. I cross my fingers, toes, hair, blah blah blah for success and nothing less, only more. PLEASE JUST LET ME SUCCEED. OH PLEASE. SO I CAN GET OUT OF THIS HELL.
I mumbled to myself not to mumble ever again- 6:14 AM
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