solace within

Monday, May 28, 2007
i'm scared.

Music- british rock, like depache mode (although they're rather my parent's era)

I notice that I've been developing this bad habit of replying people's texts after very long intervals. Perhaps it's because of baaaaad influence. Like,... cannot say. So I've been doing it back to them, messing their schedules back. At least I don't have the guts to give them some uhh face colour. (:

I have decided to compile a list of current fears, since I've been so inspired by my homework list (to continue slacking). Not in any order;

1. My dog dying
2. Walking skirts (yes all thanks to zheng minlu rah.)
3. shattered joints
4. being trapped in another person's body or vice versa
5. breaking/losing my fingers/limbs
6. darkness (to an above average extent)
7. people who can't say anything else but stuff that put you down
8. failure
9. not being forgiven
10. being backstabbed
11. eyes not being attached to anywhere else
12. knocking of doors
13. alarm clocks ringing
14. making wrong decisions
15. remembering people but not being remembered
16. guys who like to inch up to you though you don't know them very well
17. getting lost
18. failing eoys/overall
19. becoming blind/deaf
20. myself

I think I'm one heck of a scardy cat. I wish I was a little stronger. I want a helicopter, I want an ocean liner!

But then again, it's hard to stop your heart from crawling in the mud when your parents keep making digs at you. Sigh. I remember it was after se concert. I plonked myself down on the sofa and then absurd questions starting shooting. Then I just went on to ap them till I went to sleep. But they didn't let me off. It continued during breakfast. Sigh.

I wonder, if I tried to tell you what I feel, would you listen? Maybe I'm your alternative, but you're my staple.

There's this biennial festival called Change and Pain. Like what I always say, Change is the only Constant. Oh Lord, I guess lasting three years will already be a bonus for me. Gosh, it happens more often than I change my wardrobe.

(Jesus Walks)
God show me the way because the Devil trying to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me)
The only thing that I pray is that me feet don't fail me now
(Jesus Walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus Walks with me)
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long

I mumbled to myself not to mumble ever again- 10:08 PM

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