solace within

Wednesday, September 19, 2007
add-on

Damn, after blog hopping, I've got stuff to say again.

I got upset about stuff. Like cca and how a simple call threatened to slice tears out of me.

Since I entered dhs, I've been feeling that we're all just carbon copies of each other and I'm just another good in a manufacturing company. Which makes stuff that people used to say or outside people say... insignificant and cumbersome.

It's weird how people say that I'm "effectively bilingual" and there's this lady in church that keeps encouraging me to do eng-chi translation. She used to try to train this other translator that's slightly older than me. She gave her loads of attention but doesn't talk to me about those stuff though we're pretty close. Double meanings huh.

I remember when mrs tan and I had this conversation.

...

MT: So what do you really want from your friend?
Me: I don't know... just to be able to talk about anything and everything?
MT: ahh, you're not looking for a friend then, you're looking for a soulmate.

It's just amazing how dictionary explanations don't always work eh. And how certain people can see through you just like a coroner. Every reason, every deed. Sigh. And how sometimes the old wounds keep coming back and hurting you and numbing that spot even more but it still hurts and how everything comes back at once like a gush of water cascading down mt. everest. Sigh. I need to let go of so much, but that's because I'm holding on to a bloody monkey bar.

I mumbled to myself not to mumble ever again- 6:23 AM

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